You don’t think she’s a guy (though many butch women get mistaken for being guys!
), but she’s definitely not feminine in her appearance or attitudes. A butch lesbian identifies as strong and able to do lots of things that require physical ability.
She can pass for being straight, but we know she’s not because she said so and because of who she is with (i.e. A butch is the lesbian who will never put on a dress or wear makeup, a bra or thong that comes from Victoria’s Secret. She’s the one who builds houses, drives a motorcycle and loved her military service because she could wear a uniform just like the guys. Femme lesbians are seen a lot more often in the media and get the leading celesbian roles in lesbian media. It sparked the stereotypical question that is still often asked, “So who’s the guy? ” It’s a stupid question because no one is trying to be the guy in a lesbian relationship, and no one is arguing about who wears pants versus who wears the dress or who’s going to have the baby.
We are in a time period where the femme lesbian gets all the attention because straight male culture enjoys fantasizing about a night with two lesbians. Femmes are no more interested in hooking up with a guy than butches, and straight male porn creates fantasies about lesbians that are not even close to true.
A few will co-opt Butch identity in hopes of "bagging a Femme".
Stone Butch: The large number of women using the "stone butch" label are from the tweener dyke group. In the current atmosphere of male-centric queer theoried BF spaces, "stone butch" is interestingly one of the few historical BF terms used and given validation.I'll give you a reasonable breakdown and description of each group that is currently occupying these purported Butch/Femme spaces in no particular order.Female Fetishizers: There are a few handfuls of these men on all BF sites, who through their male privileged birthright believe its perfectly acceptable to co-opt Femme identity.The use of this term (and it is a term, NOT an identity) illustrates perfectly the backwardness BF spaces hold.If unsure of the meaning "stone butch" is a female who develops sexual dysfunction through the pathological shame she feels about her female body.